Where is your head at?

2 years later - Where is your head at? What does 'Normal'?

Over the past 18 months with the pandemonium when all of our routines and ways of living a normal life and habits were completely thrown out, ripped up, and dumped in the bin without any of our control #FanfeckintasticNOT. I do very much understand that this was due to the severity of the situation and to help keep people safe, I just want to talk about it in terms of how I experienced the last 18 months and how things have changed from April 2020 until August 2021.

I'll be the first to admit that I enjoyed every day that I was off by doing things like going on long pushes, online shopping, spending some well needed time at home to sleeping in while also doing some work from home. I think that I can speak for a lot of people when I say during the first couple of weeks with all of the changes and uncertainty I was really nervous, just at the thought of everything shutting down and all of the new measures that were being brought in. I mean was this going to be the norm for the rest of forever :(. I just kept thinking when was I going to be able to see the people I love and care about again and will things ever simmer down and stop!?!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has found that with all the extra thinking time at home without all of life should like to change, things you have to work on or work through whatever the case may be. I liked to describe the time we had to spend at home was like: It's was one thing when we were able to go and do whatever we wanted and we could choose to stay home, It's completely different when you are told that you can't go out and do anything - and now all that you want to do is be able to come and go as you please. lol

When I was planning this post it got me thinking about where I am now and where I was then and how things have changed in comparison I have comprised a list of bullet points below as a good way to show myself and anyone reading how things really can change in nearly two years ( would definitely recommend doing this, as it's interesting to see how or if things have changed - the good and the bad)...

April 2020

* Was given the option to work from home in early April.

* Shops, schools, restaurants, bars, cinemas, and everything non-essential closed.

* Airports at very low capacity and 'Essential' travel only.

* Hand sanitizers, gloves, and social distancing 2mm introduced.

* Essential travel only and Essential services.

* Updates, covid rules are all played on tv and radio daily.

* Zooms, Baking, Challenges, Movie Marathons, new hobbies.

July - January 2021

* Went back to work in early July.

* It was so good being able to see people again and get back to some form of normal routine.

* It was great being able to catch up and talk to people again.

* I started to realize the things that I'd like to do and decided to take action on the things that I had been putting off for so long.

* Celebrated my Godchild's First Holy Communion. <3

* I figured out what I wanted to do and what I wanted to make happen eventually.

* Then eventually they did happen.

* Handed in my two weeks notice at work (Risky move especially with what was going on).

In hindsight, I should have stayed for another while longer purely because it really was so uncertain if things were ever going to get back to 'normal' and recover.

* Celebrated my 30th Birthday at home with my nearest and dearest, living my best life! <3

* I was very much thinking that it should be fine, I mean surely things will get back to normal again soon, right??

* I did have all the time to finish my Medical Secretarial Diploma.

* I had a lot of time to realize the things about myself that I wanted to change and improve on.

January - June 2021

* Joined the Boundless Babes Society.

* Connected with women with disabilities online through BBS.

* Started weekly wheelchair dance classes.

* Started weekly adapted workout classes.

* Decided on what my short, medium and long-term goals were.

* Found out I'm going to be an aunt again - three times :)

* Finally took the plunge and set up my blog - for my love of writing, perspective, and helping people.

* Finished and received my Medical Secretarial Diploma.

June to August 2021

* Completed stage 1 of BBS.

* Started stage 2 of BBS.

* Went on the first holiday with the gang in nearly 2 years - easily the best holidays we have been on in ages, so many adventures.

* I realized that I love being out in nature and exploring so much.

* I was offered my dream job in late July :).

* I got back into going to the gym.

* I got back into Slimming World and a healthier lifestyle.

As well as reflecting on all of the different things that have and hasn'tcan't happened through out the past 18 months I wanted to take time to reflect on all of the different things that I have learned over the last while:

* I love being as independent as possible and doing things I want to do whenever.

* I also love spending time with family and friends.

* I love being out doing things and going on adventures.

* I love time on my own.

* I love having a routine and being focused.

* I love exercising and going to the gym.

* I really love having catch-ups and reunions and being able to give elbow hugs.

* I love being able to help people.

* I love and cant wait for: having a half-day in work, a day off, a bank holiday, being able to plan holidays, or just being excited about being off for Christmas or birthdays, etc.

I know all of the bullet points that I have listed above make it seem like it was all sunshine and rainbows and that's just not true, there were so many families around the country and the world that lost loved ones so suddenly from covid and other awful effects of the pandemic. I can only speak for myself when I say that sometimes being bored was one of the only worries, then it was being anxious about the unknown, about being out in public again, being nervous about how much things have changed and how to adjust to the 'new normal' whatever that means.

I would really encourage you to make a list of things in any format you want, just as a way to take stock of the things that once were and have now changed and then look and take note of the things that have stayed the same and the things that you are planning on changing in the very near future whatever applies to you. I really hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. I know that this time was simply horrible for people around the world, especially in terms of their mental health and wellbeing - Please remember that it's okay if you are not okay! <3. I have included information for some different resources for you or someone you know that may be struggling at this time as a result.

Aware Ireland - this service provides support and education for those living with Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, or Mood Disorders.

https://www.aware.ie/

Pieta House - this service provides support for people and communities in crisis by providing free and accessible services to all.

https://www.pieta.ie/

Mental Health Ireland

https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/

Jigsaw - young people's health in mind

https://jigsaw.ie/about-jigsaw/

Happy Monday and Happy Reading :)

Ableism

What it is and why it’s important to find out more.

The term ableism is a noun that means to discriminate in favor of able-bodied people.

Ableism is the discrimination or prejudice against people who have disabilities. It can take many forms like ideas and assumptions, stereotypes, attitudes and practices, and physical barriers.

Ableist language is the language that is offensive to people with disabilities. It can also refer to language that is derogatory, abusive, or negative about disability. It is basically the systemic exclusion and oppression of people with disabilities that are often expressed and reinforced through language.

From ableist descriptions (the weathers been ‘crazy’ lately) to ableist sayings (it’s the blind leading the blind) ableism has been and remains in the center of much of society and is a socially acceptable form of expression.

As there are some words that are offensive in certain contexts (e.g., it is appropriate to call a window covering a blind but is inappropriate if the term blind is used in a derogatory way by saying ‘The Prime Minister was blindly following advice.” Some words are offensive in any context and should always be avoided.

Unfortunately, because these terms were once used medically by doctors or specialists, they were then used widespread by people to describe a disabled person especially in those horrible times where sterilization and institutionalization were rampant in society. This echoed the idea that just because a term is used to describe a person’s disability in a clinical sense, it does not mean that it is then okay for these terms to be used in everyday life.

Although some people may not intend to use these hurtful words it does not mean that they don’t hurt the person feeling any less. It is so unfortunate that this type of ableist language is even a thing that needs to be highlighted more than it already has been. It is so important to talk about it because it can give members of the disabled community the feeling that they are not valued because of their disability (invisible or otherwise).

By simply carrying out my research and now knowing what it means, just further shows me just how important it is that people are educated on this but also as humans it should be just seen as common decency that people should not be discriminated against regardless of there disability, race, gender, age.

History of ableism: Before the 18th century those with disabilities were punished because they were seen as being cursed, possessed, or that their disability was caused by a person’s moral failings.

During the age of enlightenment when science began to replace religion, it meant that people with disabilities were no longer punished for their ‘moral failings’. Some people were sent to schools or homes for those with special needs which sadly, was a negative result of the ‘scientific understanding’. Unfortunately, there were also those groups that believed that the practice or advocacy of improving the human species by selectively mating people with specific desirable hereditary traits. It aims to reduce human suffering by “breeding out” disease, disabilities, and so-called undesirable characteristics from the human population. Early supporters of eugenics believed people inherited mental illness, criminal tendencies, and even poverty, and that these conditions could be bred out of the gene pool.

Examples of Ableism:

People who practice ableist behavior may not always recognize what they are doing, regardless of if there is no harm caused it can still be harmful.

*A solicitor’s office that does not have documents available in brail, meaning that those who are blind are unable to maintain their autonomy in a situation but would also have to depend on the person who can see to read the document to them properly.

*When someone begins to push their colleague, who is a wheelchair user without their permission who appears to be having some difficulty even if they don’t actually need assistance, it can undermine their bodily autonomy and also their authority by assisting them anyway.

* When a friend is describing their ex-girlfriend as ‘psychotic’ for being jealous when they knew that they used to text other women while they were together. By using language that undermines another person’s mental health perpetuates ableism by reusing terms that are used to describe psychiatric disorders. Instead of the person explaining why the behavior was frustrating, they chose to use these negative terms adding to the negative stigma of mental health disorders.

*If a person who is a wheelchair or mobility aid user is being asked to speak at an event, they should be able to easily get to where they need to be, and if there is no easy way for all guests to access the stage, the guest is being treated as the problem instead of the venue.

*When an employee speaks only to their boss’s interpreter, it is very important to speak to the person you are speaking to directly to show that you are respectful of them and that you acknowledge them.

*While out to eat and someone makes fun of the waitress’s stutter, by making fun of a person’s disability it perpetuates the idea that there is only one ‘correct' way of moving through the world than another.

Ableism: The practices and dominant attitudes in society that devalue and limit the potential of people with disabilities. A set of practices and beliefs that assign inferior value (worth) to people who have developmental, emotional, or psychiatric disabilities.

Disablism: This is a list of assumptions (conscious or unconscious) and practices that promote the differential or unequal treatment of actual or presumed disabilities.

People who do not have a disability or who are not close to someone who does might not understand how the world is wired for non-disabled people. It may be invisible to those who do not have disabilities. It is sometimes not intentional but in certain circumstances, it is very intentional. An ableist society is said to be the one that treats non-disabled individuals as the standard of ‘normal living’, which results in public and private places and services, education, and social work that are built to serve ‘standard’ people, thereby inherently excluding those with various disabilities.

Internalized ableism is when we as disabled people project negative feelings onto ourselves. Traditionally internalized ableism describes the subtle oppression of non-disabled people over disabled people (meaning that the able-bodied person would get the blame or be blamed for the negative feelings that a disabled person would have towards their own disabilities and limitations)

Internal ableism occurs when a disabled person believes that they are less worthy due to their disability and act accordingly.

e.g., it is disproportioned feelings or thoughts of being a burden to self-hatred to assuming personal incompetence in areas of your life not associated with the limits of your condition, many people with disabilities often suffer from internal ableism.

I have been guilty of this in the past, by unintentionally being harmful to those around me when trying to say how I was feeling and then not knowing at the time how truly damaging that can be to the person you are speaking to but also to the relationship you that you have with that person. As I am looking back now realizing that there was an actual term used for this type of thinking and behaviors in the disabled community) and that it is something that others in the community have experienced and continue to deal with on a daily basis.

I sometimes think about this and have made it my mission over the last couple of years to educate myself on these topics and others and by gaining a better understanding of my disability and me as a person and about how truly separate these things actually are and how a person can be many things like a mother, sister, aunt, godmother, niece, cousin, friend, daughter all outside of their disability or diagnosis.

I won't lie it took years and years of self-care and compassion for myself and for others to get to where I am today at 30 years of age being passionate about helping people with or without disabilities to learn more about different topics while also educating myself in the process.

I hope you enjoyed reading and that you learned something new in the process and if there is anything that I didn’t mention that is important please let me know! 😊

Happy Reading!

Happy Friday

Some useful links and resources

https://fairygodboss.com/career-topics/ableism

http://www.stopableism.org/p/what-is-ableism.html

https://www.google.com/search?q=what+is+internal+abelism&oq=what+is+internal+abelism&aqs=chrome..69i57j33i10i160.21272j1j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://thrivingwhiledisabled.com/internalized-ableism-the-struggle-to-accept-our-own-worthiness/

The Rollettes : Boundless Babes Society

The Rollettes is a wheelchair dance team from Los Angeles, it was created to empower women with disabilities to live boundlessly, as well as shift perspectives on disability through dance. It was founded in 2012 by Chelsie Hill and at the time it was known as Walk and Roll and Team Hot Wheels before that. It was made up of six women who performed all across the country at different abilities expos and festivals.

Chelsie Hill is the owner and CEO of the Rollettes dance team company, at the age of 17 Chelsie was involved in a drunk driving car accident that unfortunately caused irreversible damage to her spinal cord and meant she was unable to walk. Before the Rollettes Chelsie was also one of the stars of the Sundance TV reality series that followed the lives of four women with disabilities who were also full-time wheelchair users. #ChelsieHill #CEO #Boundlessbabe

The Boundless Babes Society is a mentorship program that was created as a way to connect women with disabilities all around the world. The idea for the society was created after the little sisters' program was created initially and after some discussions that Chelsie was having with women within the community who didn’t have that support system in place where they could connect with people who were similar to them that they could relate to and build relationships with. The aim of the BBS society is to teach each member how to become leaders in their communities and most importantly leaders in their own lives. #BBS #Boundlessbabessociety

The mentorship program is divided into three stages over a six-month period. I am currently at the end of month five going to month six of Stage 1 – as a #BBS girl you get access to the exclusive #BBS area on the Rollettes website, where you are given two videos each month discussing a different topic and how it can be used to help you achieve your goals it could be things like learning to drive, moving out, starting that passion project, finishing school or college whatever the case may be. A huge part of this program is the instant community that you become connected with whether it’s through the monthly stage zooms with all the girls or through the Facebook groups or when you find your accountability partners who have similar interests or goals or who live the closest to you and you can connect with each other and start building new and meaningful friendships as well as achieving your goals! 😊

So far five months into the program I can honestly say that it’s the best thing that I’ve done for myself in such a long time, especially over the past year or so with the state the worlds in. The whole process has helped me figure out what my goals are and tips on how to achieve them including always celebrating the little wins but the part I found the most useful were the video topics where we would discuss the importance of the choices you make, finding what makes you look and therefore feel confident and the importance of accountability both with your #BBS girls but most importantly the accountability you have with yourself.

Another HUGE part of the #BBS mentorship program is that depending on each girls situation, there is a Rollettes Dance Experience that is held in Los Angeles at the end of July each year where a three-day event takes place in a massive ballroom full of women and girls in wheelchairs where they can connect and meet in person but they can also attend dance classes, workshops, and PJ parties as well as seminars and panels including some special guest speakers and cocktail mixers.

Thankfully this year the experience is going to be able to be attended virtually for those that are unable to make the in person event, how it works is that once you register for the event (there is a registration fee for both events) you are then sent other information about the event including hotel information. How the virtual event works is that you are able to watch the dance classes, work shops and seminars at home via zoom. I for one am happy to hear about the virtual event It is great to hear that the in-person event is happening this year on the 23rd ofJuly2021. #Rollettesdanceexpereince #Rollettesdanceteam

To find out more about the #Rollettes the #Rollettesdanceexperience and the other things I mentioned in this post you can click the links below to find out more.

#Rollettes Dance official website:

https://www.rollettesdance.com/

#Rollettesdanceexperience information :

https://www.rollettesdance.com/re21